"I was ready to die." He doesn't seek her hand again, much as he feels its loss. "I'm glad to be alive. I guess it's petty. I devoted my life to a cause, I gave my life for it… and then… what's at the top of the hill but another hill."

He shakes his head at himself. "I shouldn't have said… I don't know what I'm saying. I think you're right… maybe I should get some sleep."