･ﾟ🌠 🎀 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒸𝓉 🎀 🌠ﾟ･

[adjy]

𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓴 5. 𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓶 25. (𝓾𝓷:𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓾𝓼𝓽)
𝒶𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝓉𝑒𝓍𝓉, 𝓋𝒾𝒹𝑒𝑜, 𝒶𝓊𝒹𝒾𝑜 𝑒𝓉𝒸.

Comments

[candor1]

He stares back into her eyes. Had he precisely catalogued before their exact shade of green? And the flecks in them… like…

Stardust, he remembers and realizes. Of course.

He wants suddenly to kiss her.

…All right. Not suddenly. He's wanted to kiss her for a while. Since before arriving here. But he'll never trust it if it's initiated by himself, so he makes no move.

The squeeze hurts a little but he wouldn't have her let up for anything. He squeezes a bit more gently back.

"Is it wrong," he says quietly, "that the only thing I sort of… am not… entirely grateful for… is that I thought I was finally… finished?"

[adjy]

She narrows her eyes, oblivious to his intentions. She takes comfort from their proximity, but she's much more focused on his words than his lips.

"You wanted to die," she cautiously floats out as a theory, uncertain if she's right or even what it means. She's still not even positive they are dead - will be? It's impossible to know as long as they're here. Jyn lets go of his hand abruptly, but stays close, nodding once. "I'm tired, too." But that doesn't mean they give up. Neither of them are capable of that.

[candor1]

"I was ready to die." He doesn't seek her hand again, much as he feels its loss. "I'm glad to be alive. I guess it's petty. I devoted my life to a cause, I gave my life for it… and then… what's at the top of the hill but another hill."

He shakes his head at himself. "I shouldn't have said… I don't know what I'm saying. I think you're right… maybe I should get some sleep."

[adjy]

"You're a great many things, Cassian Andor, but petty isn't one of them." She looks to him then looks to the bed. They could rest? Start fresh in the morning. "I'm not going anywhere." Even from only next door, she is terrified he won't be here when she wakes up.

[candor1]

He'd just been about to ask—if he could find his way to it—if she would stay. He smiled slightly at her, one of his rare smiles that however tired and worn shifted a planet's axis. "Yes. Please stay."

He bent over to take off his boots. Straightening, he also looked at the bed. He didn't want to pressure her, but he had to ask. "I can take the floor… unless you don't mind…" Ugh, he was terrible at this.

(She might learn later that his history of intimacy was one entirely dominated by his job—he'd never had a sexual partner or a bedmate where circumstances, usually including his identity, weren't dictated by something ulterior—which left him particularly terrified of doing wrong by/to her. He wasn't sure he knew how to do any of this without some form of manipulation.)

He knew he'd find the deepest rest holding her. On the other hand, he'd be more comfortable on the floor beside where she was than on a bed in another room.

[adjy]

She starts working out of her boots and heavier layers until she's down to just her trousers and a long-sleeved shirt. After all they've been through, that he could think she wouldn't want him near is laughable. And, in fact, when she opens her mouth to respond a bright laugh spills out instead. Jyn grabs for his wrist as she scoots over to make room for him on the single bed, effectively pulling him back down into it.

"It's okay, Cassian."

It's different from sharing this scant space with Bodhi had been, though she isn't sure why. At least, not without identifying something she'd rather keep hidden even from herself. Her head hits the pillow, her hand still gripping his arm as he lays down to face her.

[candor1]

He moves as if to shed his jacket before remembering he isn't wearing it. He's not entirely sure what's under the coveralls he'd woken up in, so just undoes the front top fastenings without trying to remove them.

It's a relief to follow her lead. Not for the first time.

With a hesitance he'd never shown back home, he slips one arm under the pillow, to be under her neck. His other hand comes to rest, so lightly, on her ribs.

[adjy]

She remembers how out of place she'd felt without her clothes and hopes him return to him soon. The way his hand settles on her middle has Jyn releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, hand coiling around his forearm and holding fast as if to keep him exactly where he is. His eyes go right through her, as close as they are, and she swallows dryly before leaning forward to rest her forehead against his shoulder. His scent is familiar and comforting and she finds herself unable to keep her eyes open in this position. Her other hand comes up from where it's been squashed between them to anchor against his chest, feeling his heartbeat against her palm and allowing it to slow her down enough to sleep. Or at least consider getting there soon.

[candor1]

He shifts gently, slightly, to fold his arms the rest of the way around her, resting his face against her dark hair. His chest rises against her as he breathes the closeness of her, and he also does his best to modulate his chest under her palm, as if her touch is something that could fly away.

The release of holding her finally allows his exhaustion to overtake him. But as he starts to drift off, his inhibitions lighten just enough for him to press his lips briefly to her hairline. And whisper, to either or both of them, "Welcome home."